Hello, Hello!
I am writing you the day before I leave this beautiful area to continue now on my 5 week travels across India. I will head to Rajastan, the land of desert warriors, with men wearing turbans and women in bright beautiful saris…. I am planning a 2 day camel ride…and seeing lots of grand palaces!
I have spent my last 2 days in a comfortable guest house with hot running water (no more cold bucket baths in the cold am), a toilet to actually SIT on and flush, a big queen size bed to have to myself and move freely about, and a balcony with a view that rests over the Ganga …..all for $6 a night!! Yes, that is Indian prices (breakfast, lunch or dinner for about $5-8!!) I am happy and freely enjoying my village before I go. I am heading to the waterfalls to hike and then have tea with Anu in the afternoon, ending with the aartie /puja devotional at night….such a good life here! I understand why so many people come here and rest for many months and come back again and again. This area is such an easy and beautiful way to know and see India.
I said a tearful goodbye to the children Friday. They walked and ran beside me as I left the gate, asking me with their loving eyes and sweet hearts:“when you come back”?…and making me promise them I will come back… “I will, I will”….”I promise” . I ldo ove it here and feel at home here….I will be back soon, that I know. The children, my friends, my loves, the Ganga river, this village and people have won my heart. I am full and did not imagine that a place could bring me such beauty, joy and love. I thank God everyday for bringing me here……. I will be back……
I say goodbye for now to Rishikesh, and to my friends and loves:
Carly, my English roommate who was my side-kick every day and night as we ‘weathered’ thru so many trials with the ‘bosses’ here, severe sickness and administering to the kids morning and night (“do you have the meds, who got vitamins, who did you give to….oh no I forgot ____!), endless days of giving, giving, giving; talking late at nights about the kids and what we can do help them or whatever ‘parents’ talk about at night when concerned about their kid…..and letting out our frustrations….We loved sipping chai tea, and sometimes with the big boys joining us, laughing about what some of the little ones did that day, and then crashing, exhausted, in bed by midnight, then to be up at 6:30am and start all over again……
Goodbye to all these children, 60 that I can name all, but each one has affected my heart and soul..I did not know that a ‘mothering heart’ could love so many and so deeply…There is Sunita, who is the girl I will sponsor to go to medical school in 5 months. A 17 yr old gentle beauty from Nepal, who has lived at Ramana’a for 12 years and cannot give more thanks for what her ‘mother’ Praba has given her, who pulled her out of such poverty and has given her a home, a family, brothers and sisters to love, food, clean water, a comfortable warm bed and clothes, a good education, and now an opportunity to go the medical school (with help from donations and us!!)!!! She cannot imagine leaving her home with so many that love her, and go be on her own, but she is excited for the possibility of helping others as a doctor. She is the one, along with Veer, her brother, who has layed in bed for 4 weeks with Typhoid fever. 4 weeks of nothing to do ….no TV, music, no other sisters to visit with or sleep with….just sickness, high fever, staring at the walls of their room and the hospital…both of them…and never once complaining or crying about it….always smiling, happy to talk and so gentle and grateful. They could only be visited by Praba and me….I spent many an hours with them sharing and massaging them. They made me the most beautiful homemade goodbye card, with sweet words and poetry…..
Raja, 14 years, but looks 8 yrs., because of some brain damage and epilepsy…who lay in my arms last week as I was tutoring, frightening me as he experienced a grand mal in my arms. I was so stunned and shocked, frozen on what to do …as I helplessly sat there, I turned him sideways, massaging and rubbing him, gently talking with him and sticking my finger (ouch!) and then my hand in his mouth so he would not bite off or swallow his tongue. It felt like 5-10 minutes of torture (but really maybe only 2-3) to watch a love ‘disappear’ into the pain of disease, (my first time), it was devastating and so horrifying. I cried…he is so young….
There is dear sweet, shy Sujan, 12 yrs, who had to be taken to the hospital with a bacteria that is ‘eating’ the tissue in his thigh…who has had major surgery and part of his thigh removed (he was so athletic, I hope this does not affect his sports!)….. and his sister, Kalpana, here at home, who cries at night because she wants to see him and worries about him alone in the hospital. She asks me every day to ask Praba if she can go see him (I have been become the ‘spokesman’ or the go-between with mother Praba and the kids….She is a tough mom and they ‘use’ me to talk to her…. 
) Sujan is in intensive care, I did not get to say goodbye, but Kalpana will get to see him very soon. The hospital is a one and a half hour trip…we walk 20 min….to catch an autoshaw…and then an hour bus ride..…
I cannot mention all my loves/children, but each one has such an tragedy to talk about, but all are also full of so much happiness, hope and love to share with me and the world…..When I told them I was leaving they ask bluntly, “WHY?”….and they always follow with…”when you come back?” They know I will….how could I not!? When I cried and thanked them for all they have given me, they looked at me and asked, “why do you cry?”
Godbye to Anu, 28,(and her sister Govita, a teacher also), my dear Indian girlfriend and a Kindergarten teacher at Ramana’s. I will miss our scooter rides to Rishikesh, an American and an Indian girl (2 single girls NOT accompanied bv a male) going to the market in town with everyone staring at the 2 beautiful women, free, laughing, talking and enjoying each other’s company! She wants to come live in America so she can live the life she wants as a free girl….but now hear from her, as I leave, that her parents will be arraigning her marriage soon…she really is getting to old and she feels she must before it gets too late for a good match! Hmmmmm…!
To all the headmaster and teachers at Ramana’s, who gave me such support and really appreciated how and what I was doing with music and with the children. They get it here!!……Music From and About the Heart…. It feels good to be amongst those that truly can experience this….and not let music be only about if you can ‘play well’ or be an ‘expert’ in music….They said they will pray that I come back soon….
I will miss the villagers, children and shopkeepers saying “namaste’ from their heart and eyes as they recognize me now and greet me each day….or the children shouting “Hello Katy” and running up to me to shake my hand or give me a hug, even those that do not come to the school now know me and cannot wait to greet me! The moms say I am talked about in the homes and their kids mention: ”I saw Katy today….”. One mother said she went into her 6 yr old boy’s room and he was singing our songs and doing the dance I taught to show his family!!! So sweet….
I will miss not seeing dear Garba at Ramana’s, smiling, cooking in the café, loving the children with me, sneaking out for walks, tea or a hikes to the waterfalls. My best night so far was when we took a ride up into the Himalayas to a local mountain village where I visited with his men friends, sipped chai tea and ate fabulous local Indian food…..then on our way down the mountain ,late that night, we stopped, climbed the hillside and joined a nomadic tribe of men with their hundreds of sheep by their fire…..these men travel down from near Nepal to Rishikesh to feed their sheep and come where it is warmer for 6 months. They sleep in the cold mts. beside the fire under the sky, stars, moon and on the rocks. They were peaceful and happy with their life. I could not believe my luck to be there, sitting with these dear men (see the photos), under the stars, by their fire, staring at the moon and their faces, and sipping ‘homemade’ drink (alcohol they had brought from their village) and fresh warm goats milk with them. I am blessed! We talked, that is Garba did because he was fortunate enough to speak their dialect since he is from the same mountain area, and I sat back and observed. The elder of the village was there, so dear and sweet…he looked at me with such love as her spoke to me and Garba translated. My favorite was watching him tell stories to the group…his expressions and passion was felt, even if I did not understand what he was saying at length. Later Garba shared with me his stories of travels and his village life….
Farewell to Praba, an amazing strong, older woman who has so much to hold up and keep running so these children can have hope, a good life and continue with a warm bed, food to eat 3 times a day, clothes to wear and a good education (even after they leave here). We had many a ‘conflicts’ as volunteers with her (as it appears ,most do with her…many have left early her because of butting heads with Praba and Angie, the other woman in charge, both strong and ‘difficult’ woman with big egos…BUT it is because of people like this, that projects like Ramana’s are able to survive in India.. so I leave with MUCH respect for them, even if I do not always connect in a good way with them!). Praba has asked me to come back, for a longer time next time, with all expenses paid (except airfare)!! Now that I am leaving, she say s‘ no one has come and given such valuable care, love, music and teaching to the children’ as I have…..she wants me to come back and be like “Head Mother” to care and love the children and provide more enriched music for the school. I am honored by her, of all people, to express this and ask me back. I will be back. She wants me here by Aug. or Sept. of next year for a 6 month stay. This time I hope to come with my daughters!! OK girls!!!??? Mom, dad …you too for a short visit!? I will find you a very comfortable guest house…with warm water, beds and toilets (no holes)…for only 300 Rps. ($7 a night is all is cost to stay here in a very nice place!)…wishful thinking….
I will miss not having afternoon tea with Sonu, my Indian friend and love, who owns the best music store in Ram Jhula (written up in Lonely Planet for his knowledge, his big smile, his friendly visits and warm heart). I often would join him in afternoons for chai tea and visits. We laughed so much and ‘people watched’ those that strolled by or came into his shop. I met and shared much with local shopkeepers, foreigners from Russia, UK, Australia, Israel, US, Europe, etc… This was the favorite part of my day. We joke that the way he most won my heart was with MEAT…hehehe!, yes, meat! When I was weak and not doing well, he would have his brother run 30-45 minutes on a scooter to the nearest town, out of Rishikesh (where no meat or alcohol can be found since it is a holy city), to get me momus (with mutton) or tandoori chicken…and sometimes some good beer along with it. Yummy! Those were good and silly times when we would hide behind his counter eating meat and sipping beer, so that no locals or cops could catch us. I felt like I was back in high school hiding from parents!! I plan to meet Sonu again after I am in Rajastan for a week. He is there now inspecting antique Indian furniture, doors, rugs, etc that he sells to other countries by email (his other job)….he also lives 7 months in Israel as a chef… boy, does he get to enjoy a good life!) We will head to Agra to see the Taj Mahal and then get on his motor cycle and head for a week to the ‘top’ of the Himalayas (with helmets on!!), exploring nature, trekking, seeing ancient Hindu temples, staying with locals in the remote mountain villages that he knows. There will be very few, if any, foreigners there….just me enjoying this experience! There might be snow also…so cold, cold, cold with fresh water and air…and lots of peace and silence! How fortunate I am……
Other things and places I will miss: goodbye to the the cows, ox and dogs roaming the streets (watch out for their pile of poop!…I slipped in many a times!); goodbye to hearing the early morning and night bells rung by the priests at the Hindu temples; I will miss mediating, praying, hearing Hindu music and singings chants at my early am ashram and with the kids in pm at Sat song….; goodbye to the flowing Ganga river-felt, heard and seen from everywhere in this holy town-surrounded by ‘her’ goddess, female energy that makes this place so blessed and the people so sweet, gentle and loving; goodbye to walking across the bridges, Laxman and Ram, whipped by the piercing winds, staring at the ganga and huge majestic mountains as the bridge sways…I feel so ALIVE each time I across the river- with nature and the mother ganga energizing me! Many of us back home are missing this gentle, subtle, ‘female energy’ that the Indian woman and men have here…there are the beautiful girls and woman in their female dresses and flowing saris, full of color and woman-ness’..they have taught me so much; goodbye to sudha’s who are everywhere here in their orange robes, begging and chanting quietly; goodbye to aartie, when the town and hundreds of people gathers together at night for puja offerings to the Ganga near the Shiva shrine to listen to musicians and participate in Kirtan chanting. It is so amazing to gather with so many people for beautiful Hindu music and devotional singing, chanting…and it happens every night here!
Thank you for letting me share all this with you by email and again for your support. Once I am moving about, I am not sure how often I can write or am near email…I plan to be in US by Jan 15 and at my parents for awhile. I’ll see you in SB around Jan 25….back to work, teach , and seeing dear friends…I cannot wait to see my family and girls who I miss sooooo much!
Again, sending you many warm, gentle blessings!
Kathy
